"My soul yearns, even faints, for the courts of the Lord; my heart and my flesh cry out for the living God." Psalm 84:2
I'm home for the first weekend since I left for school. And let me just say, it's WEIRD. It feels like I'm in a time warp, like I've been asleep for the past three weeks and have just waken up, even though life has moved on.
I love Bama. I love being on my own. I love the atmosphere. I love the ways God's working down there. But it feels so good to be home for a little bit.
It takes leaving to realize and appreciate some things. I realize how comfortably I lived the last few years of my life. I was blessed with a solid group of friends always by my side, a church where I was completely comfortable, a school where I could be a slacker and still be on top of things, and a home with love, laughs, and laundry service. And comfort is good. It's a sweet gift God wants us to enjoy in His time. But there's only so much growing we can do if we stay comfortable. God also calls us to a radical life, not a comfortable one. He calls us out of what feels "safe" because He wants us to know we can trust Him. He wants us to step out on the water, trusting that He'll grab our hand if we start to sink. And when we need comfort, we know we can rest in His arms. I didn't understand that a few months ago.
That was kinda a tangent. Ha.
Here's the thing.
Driving up the interstate, I literally felt home getting closer. I felt my heart relaxing and my lungs breathing. In Tuscaloosa, everyone always puts on a face. There is a certain pressure to always be friendly, always be punctual, always tidy up after yourself, always eat healthy. In my hometown, I feel like I am known. I can be quirky, sarcastic, giggly, wild, upset, real, even rude. And people who know me get that because they know my heart.
I have missed hugs! Church Sunday was a beautiful overload of hugs and affection from my cloud of witnesses. It's nice to step back and realize how MANY people have influenced my life by chaperoning a trip, giving me a ride, opening their home, speaking encouraging words, or just giving me a hug. It's such a gift to come home to these angels!
All of this makes me realize anew that I yearn for my heavenly home.
When I turned onto my street, I saw this precious image:
my sweet dad
I yearn for my heavenly homecoming.To arrive at the gate and be fully embraced. To be in the place where I will know fully and will be fully known. Where all is love and nothing is straining. Where I will be eternally surrounded by a cloud of witnesses, a league of people from the history of all time who have shaped me. To live to praise! To see my Father on heaven's driveway and receive His precious kiss on the forehead.
Lord, come quickly!
But you know? We press on here. We step out of comfort, holding to His unchanging hand. We go into Babylon with news of Zion! We go where He calls, even if it doesn't make sense. And if the journey's hard, we cling to the fact that we're already on our way home. Closer every day, we can breathe more and more because we're almost home.